skotch

This weeks funnies

It seems that the number of views is decreasing - perhaps its to do with the content, for which I make no apology:

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.

That's why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.
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My friend just asked me if he could put a teabag in my mouth then pour in boiling water.

He must think I'm some kind of mug.
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My friend was showing off his new gold ring so I swiftly snatched it, took it to the nearest volcano and chucked it into the molten lava.

"What the hell did you do that for?!!" he shouted at me upon my return.

"Force of hobbit" I replied.
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I told my Girlfriend I had a Wife, then told my Wife I had a Girlfriend.

Best game of Angry Birds ever.
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Confucius did not say:-

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.


However CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ... "A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"
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And on that wise note, I bid you good night.....