Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living.
"I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder.
"Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second. They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal.
"Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man.
Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist."
"A what?" asked the builder.
"Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it happens."
"Well then it's logical to assume that you either keep it in a bowl or a pond. Which is it?"
"A pond" the builder replied.
"Well then it's logical to assume that you have a large garden." The builder nodded his agreement. So the man continued, "which means it's logical to assume you have a large house."
"I have a 6 bedroom house that I built myself." the builder said proudly.
"Given that you have such a large house, it's logical to assume that you are married..."
The builder nodded again, "Yes, I'm married and we have three children."
"Then it's logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life."
"Five nights a week!" the builder boasted.
The man smiled a little, "Therefore it's logical to assume you don't masturbate often."
"Never!" the builder exclaimed.
"Well there you have it" the man explained, "That's logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I've discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!"
The builder left, very impressed by the man's talents. On returning to the bar the other builder asked, "I see that smart bloke was in there, did you find out what he does?"
"Yeah," replied the first, "He's a logical scientist."
"A what?" the puzzled second builder asked.
"Let me explain" the first builder continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
Do you think that sharing the secret of how to re-start posting on the forum might be helpful to others who still have on-going technical difficulties.
I know that there are a couple of members who despite trying numerous adjustments are unable post.
After weeks and weeks of not even being able to get onto the site, let alone being able to post a message, connections were re-established a few days ago.
Some folk had suggested that my computer / settings / browser were deficient in some way - something that I knew was extremely unlikely since no other web site was giving me trouble - I believe that I stand vindicated for holding that view since I did absolutely nothing at my end to account for now being able to access and post.
Those with more computing knowledge and expertise than I may very well hold the answers, but as far as I'm concerned, since the 'new' aussie site was launched about 15 months ago??? it has enjoyed a rather chequered life and I would imagine that many potential new fans have given it up as a bad job. Shame really.
By the way, good to see you back skotch - keep the jokes coming.
As I was walking down the road beside the prison I noticed a rope ladder appear over the wall and then this midget began to climb down it. Just before he reached bottom he looked at me in a rather smug, supercilious fashion.
A sheikh was admitted to Glasgow's St Vincent’s Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out nationwide.
Finally a Scot was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & US dollars.
A couple of months later, once again, the Arab had to go through corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scot who was more than happy to donate his blood
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card & a jar of sweets.
The Scot was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the sheikh and said reproachfully: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds & money, but you only gave me a thank-you card and a jar of sweeties".
To this the sheikh replied:
"Aye, but now I have Scottish blood in me veins".
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies, "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto
Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "E by gum"
A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet, he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No, yer daft bugger, I want it chewin' a bone!"
Its very wet out there, so I'm already wearing my coat.....
Some of us in the UK follow your drift but I doubt very much that our continental friends can understand you.
It's good to see that you have loaded the windows update with the browser fix that allows you back onto the forum skotch.
Mrs bigdog reports that she too can get back into the forum since she did the auto update last week.